As I left California for the fourth time, I felt a mix of sadness leak into my heart. I had already entered the first desert, one of many I would drive through for the next three states. Nearing the border to Arizona, I said goodbye to the beautiful and clear skies I had grown to expect for 70 years. I had already said goodbye to the cool, refreshing air of the Northern California coastline. Muggy was a word in my vocabulary that came out only a few times a year. I know the opposite will be true on the Eastern coastline. I also know that I will give up the summer brown hills with their constant hinting at fire danger. Instead, I am trading that for year-round, constant green, mugginess included. I will adapt.
I needed to return to California for two, very important, reasons: my step-daughter’s wedding and cataract surgery. Both missions accomplished. She is settling in, and I can now see better than I have ever been able to see in my life without the aid of glasses or contacts. It did take me a (normal) week to heal so I could not concentrate on a computer screen. That meant no blog last week. It broke my heart not to write. I understand how an artist might feel when he is ill and too weak to lift a paintbrush. There is so much inside you want to express, but you have to wait. I do need “cheaters” to read fine print, but that is worth being able to see the smaller street signs I, previously, couldn’t read until just passing, and often missing important turns.
Third time’s a charm. Fourth time…not so much. I still enjoy driving, especially now with my jet-pilot vision, but, after 21,000 miles, and in two months, I think I am getting tired. Before, I noticed different landscapes in each state. Now, I calculate how much longer to reach a Love’s truck stop, always clean, where they don’t look at you sideways when you walk in and head straight for the Women’s restroom. There is always a side area outside for dogs. You have to understand old-lady bladders, and tiny doggy bladders, that require a leg stretch every two hours. Then there was yesterday. A rock hit my windshield. You guessed it. I now have a five-inch crack on the driver’s side. At least I did yesterday. I will go out this morning to see how far we have progressed. I have never had insurance that included windshield cracks, but I will check with them when I get home. I also have a “bucket” in my savings named “Auto” but I was thinking more tires than stupid rock-cracks. Again, I will adapt.
There are multiple reasons I made this cross-country move. One reason is the three people I loved, and a good friend, all of whom I have lost. Driving by the houses and frequenting so many places that tug at my heart’s memories, never getting away cleanly from the tug of those memories, has been hard for me. I told myself that the memories are just bittersweet and would ease year by year. They didn’t. Before I left the last time, I went to each grave and said my goodbyes. When I went back this time, I did not go to the graves. There was a tug of guilt, but I did not go. I will carry memories with me all of my life but…I am adapting. Isn’t that what living is all about, Adapting?
So, I am two days drive away from home, a home I had only three weeks to settle into. We shall see what the future brings.
#ontheroadagain
6 responses to “Love & Adaptation”
We will miss you, safe travels!
Wish you well and you will adapt.
Once again Robin, your positive attitude and outlook will keep you going for many years.
Sending you blessings and love!
Sharon
Go get ‘em Robin! Your are quite the trooper! Safe travels.
Adapt or die, they say, it is also my battle cry 😿 Painful as it is to let go of the past and move on, it is a must, to survive and thrive.
I knew there would be a moment to reread your blog and respond, so as I lay here this morning, not hopping out of bed 🛌 due to a visiting migraine threatening to limit my activities, thanks to the third day of stifling hundred degree temperatures, I’m down.
I loved your telling phrase about the pain of leaving California, seeping from your heart ♥️ It also was noted in journaling yesterday by Kathy, as we discussed your brave journey. Those that listen to their heart will cross oceans and lands to hear the answers that provide peace of mind.
It was such a treat to have a visit from your humblest, it was not lost on us that you arrived upon our conversation about you, thus the hilarity and laughing. I love that we laugh, amidst our terrible truths and how we miss your laughter 🤭 I took the last $tore journal 📓 it says Hope and I will treasure it as a bedside notebook. I feel like we all got a good bye hug from you and that was a great gift, thank you ☺️
I know you are going to dig in and do wonderful things in your new domaine, I want to hear about the shuttle to the coast!
Lastly, the most wonderful gift you shared with us is Sunny 🌞 she is such a delight and has the most calming effect on us. She loves spending time on the patio and chortles away, I squirt her cage out once a week and she loves it , she completes our menagerie.
And, love to you, dear Robin, as you wiggle and squiggle in your new nest 🪺 🪺
🩷Sharona
Adapt or die, they say, it is also my battle cry 😿 Painful as it is to let go of the past and move on, it is a must, to survive and thrive.
I knew there would be a moment to reread your blog and respond, so as I lay here this morning, not hopping out of bed 🛌 due to a visiting migraine threatening to limit my activities, thanks to the third day of stifling hundred degree temperatures, I’m down.
I loved your telling phrase about the pain of leaving California, seeping from your heart ♥️ It also was noted in journaling yesterday by Kathy, as we discussed your brave journey. Those that listen to their heart will cross oceans and lands to hear the answers that provide peace of mind.
It was such a treat to have a visit from your humblest, it was not lost on us that you arrived upon our conversation about you, thus the hilarity and laughing. I love that we laugh, amidst our terrible truths and how we miss your laughter 🤭 I took the last $tore journal 📓 it says Hope and I will treasure it as a bedside notebook. I feel like we all got a good bye hug from you and that was a great gift, thank you ☺️
I know you are going to dig in and do wonderful things in your new domaine, I want to hear about the shuttle to the coast!
Lastly, the most wonderful gift you shared with us is Sunny 🌞 she is such a delight and has the most calming effect on us. She loves spending time on the patio and chortles away, I squirt her cage out once a week and she loves it , she completes our menagerie.
And, love to you, dear Robin, as you wiggle and squiggle in your new nest 🪺 🪺
🩷Sharona