If I Were A Rich Man

“If I were a rich man…

All day long I’d Biddy Biddy Bum

If I were a wealthy man.

I wouldn’t have to work hard…

If I were a Biddy Biddy rich,

Digguh, Digguh,

Daidle, Daidle man” ¹

There are a million reasons why I don’t have millions of dollars in my portfolio. There are decades of proof showing my lack of foresight, my ignorance (Ooh, that’s harsh) of the world of money matters, and my insistence on spending when wisdom called out to SAVE. Neither of my husbands saw themselves as future rich, but they both had pensions they worked hard for. Now they are gone, and their hard work has left their Pound Foolish wife comfortable. I am not rich, but I am much more aware of the responsibility I must take for the savings I currently have. It is too bad that the moment I become Penny Wise, the government decides to stop making the little copper disks. I can’t say that the world did not try to warn me. There is no going back. There is no starting over with a fresh slate. I am where I am.

My doctor asked me to take a special test that checks my arteries, especially around my heart. Turns out I have a lot of plaque threatening to clog up the works. Of course, there are no symptoms. That makes it so easy to just go on with life as I have, La La La, merrily down the road. With money, I just had someone else worry about it early on. With my health, it’s on me. I have come to that fork in the road. I have two choices. One, I start acting sane, eating healthy, and exercising so my “condition” does not get worse. Two, I look forward to a roto-rooter or bypass in my future, that is, if I don’t have a stroke or heart attack first. There is no going back. There is no starting over with a fresh slate.

Don’t get me wrong. I was happy then. I am happy now. Honestly, if someone left me their riches, I would spend the rest of my life giving them away to those in genuine need. I have never had the desire to, one day, walk through the Pearly Gates knowing I left behind a full toy chest that could have brought happiness and comfort to others. Of course, for those of you who want to leave me your millions, I will not complain.

There is so much more I could say. And, I am sure, I will. If I were a rich man. If I won the lottery. If I had done this or that all those years ago… IF is a non-functional dream word. It wastes the time I have left in this precious thing I call life. Now, for me, there is only FORWARD.

1. Song words from the Musical, ‘Fiddler On The Roof’ ↩︎