It is a small group of five women who gather together once a week. We read about how to journal and gather ideas on what to write about. I love this group and how they embrace me and encourage me in my writing. At the end of a book, on journaling, there are over a hundred prompts, numbered and ready to be used in our 1/2 hour (quiet) writing session. We each choose a number. The prompt chosen is for that person to use (or not to use.) I like the challenge of writing on demand.
I have learned to live without those I have deeply loved. I love them no less even though they are no longer in my world. I live with the memories so sweet, so deep, so life-changing. These memories walk beside me every day. When I feel sad or lonely, I conjure up a funny moment, a romantic moment, or a life-altering moment. And my soul is satisfied enough to go on and move forward.
I believe I have done most of my grieving over these last years but emotions still flood inopportune moments in my day. An escaping tear followed by a memory that brings a smile to my face and leaves me with a bittersweet memory. The sweetness is just enough, like having dark chocolate for the first time, allowing me to make it through the day, again. Swallowing hard and taking a deep breath helps to cleanse the ache enough to see the sun shining through my sheer curtains over the bay windows.
There is much to accomplish in what is left of my life; so much I want to do and more of what I need to do. It is rewarding to see my goals moving forward and, often, changing in their direction. When my time is done, I will be reunited with those I love and miss but for now…
I have my journaling group of lovely and interesting ladies who pour their hearts out and who allow me to pour my heart out too. Sometimes we have chocolate!
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