“Life is a succession of moments.
To live each one is to succeed.”
-Corita Kent
It all flows from the heart: frustration, pain, loneliness. The mind sees and understands but stands aside, silent. The heart is in control, allowing negatives to flow to every part, touching every corner of your being. Tomorrow starts Week 7. Tomorrow, I go to the last step before putting my left foot down flat. On Week 8 I will begin to try step-step-step, instead of step-hop-step. I have been patient with the whole process, until now. The closer you get to a goal, the more impatient you become. The brain says, “You are progressing. You are almost there.” The heart says, “Enough! I want it now!” The heart may know better, but it doesn’t care. It wants what it wants, NOW!
Yesterday, I made a lovely sandwich, which I placed on a tray, which I then laid upon my knee scooter basket. Having so much more energy, as my whole body healed, I made one, strong, quick “scoot” backward. The tray came with me, but the sandwich did not. My lunch hovered mid-air before it opened up, falling straight down, open face, facing down onto the Pergo floor.
My heart yelped, sending the blood coursing through my body, carrying its exclamation to every active part of my being. My body activated. For good or bad, before my brain could say, “Wait!” I had slipped off my scooter to the floor, both knees down to the ground. My hands began to snatch up sandwich pieces, making some spectacular 2-point dunks into the sink.
My heart was angry as I wiped the floor. Finally, I realized my brain was talking, saying something. Knowing how profound my thoughts tend to be, my heart took one last frustrated sigh and, then, began to listen. A great deal of conversation was held between my brain and my heart. I don’t remember most of it. Now, my body was listening.
*Get up off the floor, slowly and carefully.
*Take a moment to check-in.
*Make sure all parts are functional.
*Stop making quick, sudden moves!
Back on the couch, my leg safely propped up, I realized that the only part of me that was bruised was my heart. I am so done with this temporary disability. If I were to lose the use of my leg permanently, I would deal with it. But, I am not. So, I will not.
Well, at least my heart learned a lesson. We will see if it remembers this lesson the next time.
3 responses to “The Heart Wins, Sorta”
So close Robin you got this! (so easy for me to say)
As always, Robin, very well stated and so true! Take care! Be patient with your heart and mind and body healing. Trust me, you do not wish this to be permanent!
Love and miss seeing you, Sharon
Oh my Robin…how frustrating ….but at least you said it is only temporary. You will be back to your old self ( not old as in years lol) but back to doing things normally and not having to be using scooter etc. Now even though soon you will be back to normal…take it slow…your ankle hasn’t had any real workout since months ago. Glad I talked to you later that night so I know you were feeling better than earlier.
stay strong friend. Soon, (God Willing) you will be walking on both feet getting back to your normal routines.
Laurie